…how many people go on “self-discovery” quests to really look for their calling, and how many people just pretend to be on a search for an epiphany because they can’t deal with the own reality of how much their life sucks, and would rather distract themselves than deal with their problems head-on?
Truly, the latter type of people annoy me to no end. Of course, ideally, I’d just roll my eyes and move on. But when it’s someone I used to be close to, I can’t help but feel a bit upset (and then later a bit guilty over being judgmental). No one likes to see people they care about get derailed and thus proceed to wander around aimlessly. And yet, how many people like that actually listen when they’re told to knock it off, suck it up and open their eyes?
I’m not going to pretend that I am always the “100% business” type of person. I realize that because my demeanor is often so serious in lectures and such, people may perceive me to be this way. I also realize that I am fortunate to know what I want to do at a young age, and that I shouldn’t expect everyone to be like me (which I don’t). But…if we are friends, and you ask me for advice…. I will give it to you. I don’t like hurting feelings but I am not going to sit quietly and watch you slowly sink into quicksand of your own making.
The truth can be hard to deal with. I know this. It’s even more difficult to deal with when it has to be heard from someone not in the same confused mindset. However, putting off reality for a little bit and forgetting that it exists are two very different things. The former is escapism—something that everyone is entitled to once in a while. The latter is like putting your hand on the door knob to a shapeless, endless room of misery.
A few years ago, I probably would’ve plunged myself head first into such a room to try and save that friend. Now, I’ve come to realize that people are expendable. I try not to think of friends in such a way, but when I have to accept it, I will. Now, I can only stand at the door way hoping that the friend will extend a hand back. Now, I can only hope that the friend wants to come back.
And even then, I’m not sure I care all that much anymore. Our paths are diverging, and I think I am okay with that.